Aknew!

Schooling myself again! Starting the blog back up. I'm going to focus on reinterpretations of classic artworks, which should be interesting given just how awful my drawings are. ALSO, my partner, Peter, has been drawing comics of me. As a rabbit. To christen the new blog, here is one of the first I'll post:

I'd like to reiterate that this is PETER'S drawing. I could never hope to draw so well... 

Happy Summer's-Almost-Dead y'all!

dogs with human faces

i was trying to draw my second near death experience, but it's tricky. dogs are hard to draw. so today i will post my practice drawings for the dogs.

and the scariest/one that looks least like a dog:

Also, you can totally see the outline of my poop death drawing. that's how hard i draw.

Near Death Drawing #1

I've begun a series of drawings featuring ways I've almost died in Chicago. For my first drawing you will notice how I could have died while taking a dump on the toilet. See how the globe covering the bathroom's lightbulb fell- for no reason other than to murder me- right on my head. Poor me, I'm dead now!
In case you are curious, I was spared Death by mere seconds. In real life, I just finished wiping up down there and had just stood up to wash my hands when the globe SHATTERED to SMITHEREENSSSSS behind me. 


WHEW! 

Day seven or something

So, this was gonna happen eventually, just thought i'd get it out of the way. My Georgia O'Keefe/Alfred Stieglitz homage. s. 

And for kicks:

 

In other news, that circular object below the window in the last post is a plate. on my windowsill. Is that how one spells windowsill? I could look it up i guess. I just never really had to use windowsill in any form of writing i've ever done. hmm.

hate mornings being other people's afternoons

bleary eyed. AND THE DOGS THE FUCKING DOGS.

saner posts to follow!

LIVE AT THE OSCARS ON OUR TV IN OUR JAMMIES ON THE COUCH

7:32: MY GOD NEIL PATRICK HARRIS's JACKET.
7:35 steve martin you asshole
7:36: MISSED CHRIS'S AUDIENCE KISS
7:37 AWWWWWWKAWWWWAAAARRRD
7:37 Yikes steve and alec.
7:38: Why is gabourey stuck in a random corner of the theatre?
7:38 wait, front row bitches!!!
7:42: did sandra suckle on the jugular of a virgin to get her lips so red
7:43: what just happened with clooney?
7:44: Supporting Actor, oh Penelope you have no idea what you are saying
7:48: Winner: no surprise, inglorious basterds SUUUUCKED
7:50: BLIND SIDE BOOOOOORING (mininap time)
7:57: the colors... oh the yay ed asner!
7:58: winner for animated film: UP YAY!!!! Thanks for showing all the old guys in the audience
8:01: it's gonna be okay miley 
8:04: Best song: i kinda liked that crazy heart song.
8:05: T Bone looks like a healthy james cameron
8:05: CHRIS PINE HOTTTTTT
8:12: oh, oh tina. she is having a GOOD day
8:13: J.Lo lost her shit at the dirty mole people joke
8:15: Best original screeenplay: Hurt locker, adding more weight to the possibility the ex will win over the KING OF THE WORLD
8:16: jane seymour next to jason bateman... why?
8:17 WHOA MOLLY
8:21: matt's totally getting head from sarah jessica tonight. from her bronze alien face mouth thing.
8:22: is macauley getting younger?
8:31: I think i missed an award
8:32: So Franch. FRAAAANCH.
8:36: The one with the men dancing
8:37: HATE BEN STILLER HATE
8:40: MORE SPOCK IN THESE OSCARS
8:41: Best Makeup: thank you for awarding the sci-fi film instead of best makeup for: moustaches and wrinkles.
8:48: i would NOT fuck jake gyllenhaal
8:50: Best adaptascreenplay: HUZZAHPRECIOUS! oh gabby you're so too!!
8:52: Please let gabby win best actress, god, please
8:52: hells yeah queen latifah: looks FABBBULOUSSSTH
8:54: LAUREN BACALL AND ROGER CORMAN WOW!! so. old.
8:57: Best supp actresss come on moniquemoniquemonique:  YYYYYEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I'm totes gonna cry now.
9:01: An Eduwhation?
9:06: Avatar secures it's first win... so it begins
9:09: why is keanu reeves at the oscars?
9:10: sarah jessica parker is the tallest oompa loompa ever
9:11: Best Costumes: yay. i guess. Sandy Powell looks GORGEOUS.
9:18: UGHHHH BARFFFEESST taylor and kristin. taylor lautner is RETARDED.
9:20: there will never be enough horror movie montages
9:24: Best sound: hurt locker whatever STAR TREK WAS WAY BETTER
9:26: Best mixing: hurt locker again WATCH OUT JIM.
9:30: Quentin Tarantino can BLOW ME. not really cause... gross.
9:34: I no longer remember why sandra bullock was my favorite actress once upon a time...
9:36: Best Cinematograaphy: AVATAR, s'gonna be close
9:38: wtf am i watching right now. oh right. tribute. LAME. james taylor LAAAME
9:45: DAYUM sam worthington is HAAWWT. look at those sexy glasses
9:47: Not okay with this modern dance thing for the best score nominees
9:49: score for Fantastic Mr. Fox: STUNNING
9:51: CLOONEY IS AN ASSHOLE
9:52: WINNER FOR BEST SCORE:.... YAY FOR MICHAEL GIACCHINO!!
9:54: How will Avatar NOT win visual effects: DUURRRHHHH...
9:58: Will Oscar history be made, will a blackie win? A *whisper* woman? Or will Whitey McWhiterson reign supreme yet again?
10:04: FUCKA YOU DORPHIN FUCKA YOU WHARE!!!
10:06: Mr. President of the federation.
10:08: Best Editing: Hurt Locker again. I wonder...
10:08: WHY KEANU WHY
10:15: QT GROSSSS
10:16: kara- anything with a train and hands, i'll probably watch it
10:16: SO HAPPY the White Ribbon did Not win.
10:18: LOVE YOU KATHY BATES
10:26: God i love jeff bridges
10:32: YAY JEFF BRIDGES BEST ACTOR YAYYYY. Also totally thought Jeremy Renner was gonna win.
10:33: Also, that category took 10 minutes.
10:39: CROSS FINGERS FOR GABBY SIDIBE!!!
10:42: Low point of the evening: learning Forest Whitaker directed Hope Floats.
10:48: BEST ACTRESS: you're FUCKING kidding me. You suck Sandra Bullock. I'm not buying your tears.
10:53: You lose Barbara, you lose.
10:55: Best Director: Dear Katharine, Jim will still always have more money than you.
10:58: Most awkward award presentation ever. So the hurt locker won. huh.


Bored now. this was way longer than it should have been.

day threeish

This was gonna be my bathtime post, alas until my drawing skills improve a bit that will wait... and by improve i mean when i'm not so tired i spend more than two minutes drawing something.


so... here's the thing i found growing on an old chunk of ginger root! 

Though Kara may look horrified by the alien creature that is gestating on this moldy ginger bit, she's actually just in the middle of a story. that's probably more a glare than horror.

and yes, that is a mini blue sharpie hanging out in the green candle. why? why not.

Here's a higher quality image of my elevator drawing:

omigod i gotta go take a dump.

Daw t

wwo!!!!!!
I think my keyboard hates me.
So, I totally got trapped in the elevator at work today. That's the sears tower. Being trapped in an elevator in the tallest building in the states SUCKSSSSS.
I tried to reimagine the experience, it was traumatic lemme tell you!
The for real camera is currently dead, apologies for the crappier cell phone quality.

Crappier than i expected. Here be a series!!!

Still, i got uber excited when i figured out how to send pictures from my phone to the computer without internets. Bluetooth, who fuckin knew?
This blog will also chronicle my emergence into the 20th century. or whatever.


So, i got stuck in the elevator, our securty cards don't work for this particular one, and every floor the elevator was called to was empty (SCARY) and i had to wait for someone in the lobby to call it. I almost called security, (DAMMIT I FORGOT TO DRAW THE STUPID PHONE), but was saved JIT: just in time. is that a thing? i can never figure out that shit.

LAME. I have to leave for work in like an hour. good thing i slept this afternoon. my sleep schedule gets all fuddled by the end of the week. but you don't give a snail's shit about that do you?

in fact, i'm not even sure why i mentioned that. Here's an elevator phone:

Day EINNN

My first post. The three things in my room I'm most ashamed of.


1. Lady in the Water. 
2. Crappy 3D glasses.
3. The bottle I use to urinate when the bathroom is taken and I have to pee so bad that I actually have a bottle to pee into in my room.


Also see if you can find: 
Carrot cake ordered from a mediterranean restaraunt
Sandwich for lunch/dinner that has not been eaten (though it was ordered four hours earlier)
Delicious soup!
Stein of water
Polar bears
A HOWARD!!!
A ukelele
A Poe
And that lamp isn't usually there, it's just an indication of how much i futzed around while trying to take this godawful portrait.
ARE YOU READY FOR MORE OF THIS KINDA CRAP????


stay tuned...